You book the appointment. You get the Pap smear. You leave with a clean bill of health. But did you ask the question that could change your intimate comfort for years to come? It's time to add one more thing to your wellness check list.
You know the drill. Every year, you call the clinic. You schedule your annual wellness exam. You show up, you undress from the waist down, you put your feet in the stirrups. You make small talk while someone swabs your cervix. You get dressed. You leave with a piece of paper that says everything looks normal. And you don't go back for another year.
But here's what you probably didn't do. You didn't ask about your pelvic floor. You didn't mention the subtle discomfort during sex. You didn't bring up the leakage, the dryness, the thing that's been bothering you but feels too small to mention. You told yourself it wasn't a "real" medical issue. That you were being dramatic. That if something were wrong, they'd find it.
Except they won't. Because they can't see what you don't say.
May is Women's Health Awareness Month in the United States—a time dedicated to empowering women to prioritise their physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing . It's a month for screenings, prevention, and open conversations about the health issues that affect us . And yet, for so many women, the annual wellness exam remains a passive experience. We show up. We get tested. We leave. We never ask the questions that actually matter to our daily lives.
This post is about changing that. It's about the one question you're probably not asking—but absolutely should be. And it's about why your intimate health deserves a seat at the table, right alongside your blood pressure and your cholesterol.
Because here's the truth: if you don't speak up, no one will know.
The Question You're Not Asking
So what's the question? It's not one question—it's a category of questions. Questions about your intimate wellness. Questions like:
-
"Is my pelvic floor functioning normally?"
-
"Is the discomfort I feel during sex something I should worry about?"
-
"What can I do about vaginal dryness that isn't another expensive cream?"
-
"I've had recurrent BV. Are there prevention strategies besides antibiotics?"
-
"Is it normal to leak when I sneeze or laugh?"
-
"What should I be doing to maintain my vaginal health as I age?"
These questions rarely get asked. Not because they're not important—but because we've been taught to believe that intimate health is either not a "real" health issue, or that discomfort is just something we have to live with.
Neither is true.
Why We Stay Silent
Let's be honest about why we don't ask. There's shame. There's embarrassment. There's the fear of being dismissed or judged. There's the voice in our heads saying, "It's probably nothing," or "Everyone deals with this," or "My doctor is too busy for this."
But there's also a systemic issue. Medical training has historically focused on reproductive health (pregnancy, STIs, cancer screening) rather than wellness—the daily comfort, function, and quality of life of women's bodies. Ask any pelvic floor physiotherapist. They'll tell you that most of their patients suffered for years before someone finally asked the right question.
A 2025 survey found that nearly 60% of women had experienced a pelvic health issue (like incontinence, pelvic pain, or sexual discomfort) but only 1 in 4 discussed it with a healthcare provider . The top reasons? Embarrassment and the belief that it was "normal."
It's not normal. It's common. But common doesn't mean you have to live with it.
Real Life Stories:
I think about Chloe, who spent two years dealing with pain during sex before she finally mentioned it to her gynecologist. Two years of wincing, of avoiding intimacy, of telling herself it was probably in her head. When she finally spoke up, her doctor didn't dismiss her. She referred her to a pelvic floor physiotherapist. Six weeks later, the pain was gone.
"Why didn't I say something sooner?" Chloe asked me. "I wasted two years being uncomfortable because I was embarrassed. I thought she'd think I was being dramatic. But she didn't even blink. She just said, 'Let's fix this.'"
Chloe's story is not unique. And it's why this conversation matters.
What to Ask at Your Next Wellness Check
Here's a practical guide to the questions that belong in your annual exam. Write them down. Bring them with you. You're allowed to have a list.
Pelvic Floor Questions:
-
"I leak a little when I sneeze, cough, or laugh. Is that normal? What can I do about it?"
-
"I feel heaviness or pressure in my pelvic area. Should I be concerned?"
-
"I've had a baby. What should I be doing to support my pelvic floor recovery?"
Sexual Health Questions:
-
"I experience pain or discomfort during sex. What could be causing that?"
-
"I've noticed vaginal dryness, especially since [perimenopause/breastfeeding/medication]. What are my options?"
-
"I have low libido. Is this something we can address?"
Vaginal Health Questions:
-
"I get recurrent yeast infections or BV. Are there prevention strategies beyond antibiotics?"
-
"What's the best way to maintain my vaginal pH and microbiome?"
-
"Is my discharge normal? What signs should I watch for?"
General Wellness Questions:
-
"What should I be doing differently as I approach [perimenopause/menopause/postmenopause]?"
-
"Are there lifestyle changes that would support my intimate health?"
-
"When should I come back if something doesn't feel right?"
How to Prepare for the Conversation
Walking into an exam room and suddenly remembering all your questions is a universal experience. Here's how to avoid that:
-
Start a note on your phone. Throughout the year, whenever something feels "off," jot it down. You don't need to know if it's serious—just record it.
-
Bring the list. Hand it to your provider. Say, "I have a few things I'd like to discuss." It's your appointment. You're allowed.
-
Use "normalising" language. If you're nervous, try: "I'm probably not the first person to ask this, but..." Most providers have heard it all before.
-
Ask for a referral if needed. If your primary provider isn't sure, ask: "Who would be the right specialist for this?" Pelvic floor physiotherapists, urogynecologists, and sexual health specialists exist for exactly these questions.
Beyond the Appointment: Tools for Daily Intimate Wellness
Your annual wellness check is one day a year. The other 364 days, you're managing your own body. This is where having the right tools matters.
For women dealing with:
-
Recurrent infections → pH-balanced products, breathable underwear, avoiding douches
-
Vaginal dryness → High-quality lubricants, vaginal moisturisers, talking to your doctor about hormonal options
-
Post-sex discomfort → Gentle cleanup that doesn't disrupt your microbiome
-
Pessary residue → A tool for dignified, effective removal
Après fits into this picture as a simple, practical tool for daily comfort. It's not a medical treatment—it's a quality-of-life tool. The kind of thing that, once you know about it, you wonder how you lived without it.
Your Top Questions Answered!
1. "I'm embarrassed to bring up intimate health issues. Any tips?"
Start small. Practice saying the words out loud at home. Remember that your provider has heard everything—literally everything. And know that you're not asking for yourself alone; you're normalising these conversations for every woman who comes after you.
2. "What if my doctor dismisses my concerns?"
It happens, and it's not okay. If you feel dismissed, you have options: ask again, ask for a second opinion, or find a different provider. You deserve to be heard. There are also directories of pelvic health specialists and women's health advocates who can help you find affirming care.
3. "Is it really worth asking about something 'small' like discomfort?"
Yes. "Small" discomfort has a way of becoming big over time. And more importantly, you deserve to be comfortable. You don't have to earn the right to ask by being in crisis.
4. "What if nothing is 'wrong' and I just want to be proactive?"
That's the best time to ask! Proactive questions are how you prevent problems before they start. "What should I be doing to maintain my pelvic floor?" is just as valid as "What's causing this pain?"
Your 4-Step Guide to Owning Your Wellness Check
-
Prepare Before You Go: Write down your questions. Keep a running note throughout the year. You won't remember everything in the moment.
-
Ask the Questions: Hand your provider the list. Say, "These are the things I'd like to cover today." You are paying for this time. Use it.
-
Advocate for Follow-Up: If something isn't resolved, ask: "What's the next step? Who should I see? When should I come back?"
-
Build Your Daily Toolkit: One appointment a year isn't enough. Equip yourself with the tools—like qualité lubricants, breathable underwear, and Après for comfortable cleanup—that support your body every day.
Key Takeaways:
-
May is Women's Health Awareness Month—a time to prioritise your wellbeing .
-
Most women don't ask intimate health questions at their annual exams due to embarrassment or believing discomfort is normal .
-
Nearly 60% of women experience pelvic health issues, but only 1 in 4 discuss them with a provider .
-
Questions about pelvic floor function, sexual discomfort, vaginal health, and perimenopause belong in your wellness check.
-
Preparing a list before your appointment ensures you don't forget what matters to you.
-
If your provider dismisses your concerns, you have the right to ask again or find a new provider.
-
Proactive questions are just as important as reactive ones.
-
Daily tools—like breathable underwear, quality lubricants, and Après—support your body between appointments.
-
Speaking up about intimate health normalises these conversations for all women.
-
You deserve to be comfortable in your body. That's not trivial. That's healthcare.
May is Women's Health Awareness Month. What question will you ask at your next appointment? Write it down. Bring it with you. And while you're building your wellness routine, discover how tools like Après can support your daily comfort—so you can feel good between check-ups too. Subscribe HERE for more honest conversations about women's health.
